Because that’s beyond stupid

June 2, 2012

*This is a short total random post.

Too many times I have been there when adults discuss stuff  like “In baccho ko toh koi bhi festivals, get togethers, pooja, mandir--blah blah-- ka shauk nahi” And everytime I hear them say that, I feel like writing. Its no use to argue with adults, because it ultimately ends up with a slight note of  “Kyuki mai bada/badi hu”

Like every Indian, I grew up listening to the stories of Ram, Lakshmana, Mahabharata, etc etc. But I don’t know what’s so great about hmm lets say Ram? If you go to 14 year vanvaas (exile to forest) just because your father promised it to someone blankly is sheer stupidity, NOT greatness. Why was the whole battle of Ramayana fought? For Sita, right? And in the end when Ram got Sita, what did he do? Just because he listened to some local countrymen talk about how she was impure, he left her. I mean, dafuq was that? I personally believe that Ravan was better person than that. We celebrate Dussehra every year by blowing hundreds of Ravan’s head all over the country and shouting “Buraai pe acchai ki jeet” Bullshit buraai. What makes Ravan bad? Just the fact that he liked Sita and he wanted revenge for his sister? Try and place yourself at his position. What he did was normal human behavior and it happens. But what was the whole point of battling for a person when in the end, leave her just because of some random people talking bullshit behind his back? That makes no sense and you don’t need to be some incarnation of God to see that. And Mahabharata? All I can say about it is ,Make love, not war :P. Pointless wars were the only thing in Mahabharata (Totally my opinion). And have you heard that story? The one where Arjun WON Draupadi and when returned with “Look what we got” their mother Kunti asked her son to share whatever it is with his brothers(Unintentionally) and they all “shared” her. Now, first thing, Winning a woman? This shows that we have always regarded women as trophy for brave men. A freaking material to play with. Ever heard of a woman winning a man in a dance competition or something? Such practices play a great role in pushing the society towards male dominance, not to mention hundreds of consequences like Sati, dowry etc etc.  And sharing a woman for utterly the reason to obey mother’s command blindly is the stupidest thing I have ever heard. Today also, many people do the jobs/work/study just to fulfill their parents dream. Either I am really idiotic or each of them is, because I just don’t buy it. 

And Krishna? Our parents celebrate his raasleelas over and over with millions of gopiyas, but mai karu toh saala character dhilla?

P.S. This was an incomplete entry. Just needed to write it down. Will complete it soon.  

HYPOCRISY

“What we hear is fairly different from what we see

And how we react is actually who are we” –Me

19 march, 2012

We hear a lot of things. We read a lot. We are educated and somewhat know what’s going around us. But, unfortunately, not many of us stop a while to notice that whatever we talk is immensely different from what we do. We are rationalists but we do not practice rationalism in real manner, we are secular and educated on the outside but fail to see the casteism we show. No, we do not support racism at all but in the inside we are racists. We have been taught always to stand up for truth but that’s rarely what we do. Okay, you might not agree, but consider the following-

Most the advertisements we see, claim they make you look fair and lovely. And that’s what sells. No one will consider buying anything with a product with a fat black girl on the cover. Of course all of us want to look fair and lovely, not fat and ugly. I don’t know but I have got a weird feel about it. It pisses me off that how come a so-called-ugly person never get to play a lead role in a movie. Movies and advertisement show a world of our desires, our aspirations and all us desire and aspire to be “fair and lovely” only.

Some days back, I read the matrimonial page with TOI. I never took notice of it before. That page shocked me. Every fucking single marriage advertisement was with the headline “looking for smart, fair, tall blah blah”. No one in the world wants anything less than a fair, beautiful, tall soul-mate. Funnily, soul has nothing to do with all this. Ask yourself that will you be able to love a person not hot (as they say it)? Isn’t that your dream that your prince charming or your dream girl is like 6-foot tall Kareena or Ranbir Kapoor or someone. We all have our this kind of imagination.

Indian marriages are always able to shock me. But the greatest of shocks came to me when recently there was a ‘boy-finding’ thing for someone in my family. I never knew that we still practice only intra-caste marriages. I thought that the world grew up but apparently not. Even the educated family makes a special effort to find a groom in their own caste. That’s more than ridiculous! I have pity for these never-really educated people.

Another incidence. “I dont know what frightens me more, the power that crushes us, or our endless ability to endure it”.

-Gregory David Roberts

I feel strongly about this line. So some days back, I decided to not blend in with a thing at school. I decided to do something about it. Even though 95% of my classmates agreed with me consciously, they never let go of their fear. But I stood up. I think I took some kind of panga with the teachers for it. But it felt unfathomably awesome. Mine is a government school and teachers are always favored. Of course I caught some bad limelight about it and surely enough I got many “B”s and sad project assignments marks( Believe me, I always used to get A’s :P). But whatever it took, the feeling was worth it. The feeling of speaking the truth in the face rather bitch about it in the back. What I’m trying to highlight is that people never stand for truth although that’s what we have been taught. That’s what is the basis of our education.

So, I needed to write this stuff down. I strongly feel that no matter how strong we are on the outside, no matter how rational, secular, equality-loving are we; there is always a part in us that is not. All we need to do is not let that part dominate.J

Why do people marry?

Okay, I always had this great curiosity that why do people marry other people in an arranged marriage. Basically what they do is make a decision to remain in the same house with a person who is not even known to them… maybe some find it an adventure ride with scope of lot many discoveries about their partners, but what would you do if sometimes you don’t like what you find. And hey, its india, divorcing in 1 year is not an option. You are taught bachpan se to believe that its gonna change, you can change behavior of  your partner, give it some “sayyam” i.e patience. Yeah, right, patience. Fuck patience. Kaika patience?  Once I watched that serial with Aamir Khan when he took up the cause of domestic violence. And the most weird thing I thought about it was, more than 90% of domestic violence victim women(even the most educated ones) either thought that “change ho jayega, this will change, my fairy tale will be true some day, if I try to vow him” or thought that “i deserved the beating to some level maybe”. NOOO!!sayyam?  What bullshit. The person who can hit you one day, wouldn’t shy away from putting some kerosene the other day.

Okay that was just some random arrange marriage shit. There are much more things attached to it. Har din ki ladai, har din ka jhagda, har din ke taane. If not physical violence, there is a higher level of mental violence each and every single fucking day in most of the marriages. I have rarely seen a married couple who have celebrated more than 2 anniversaries with happiness. Initially do saal ka naya naya pyaar hota hain, phir har din ki tu-tu main-main.

And marriage, as they do in my family, is weird in itself. Let me tell you about the last two marriages I attended. There was this one marriage of a neighborhood girl. A car was parked inside the marriage hall just side by side of the stage. Since it was weird, I asked my mom about why it was there. She told me that it had been given to the boy’s family by the girl’s. I went like “wtf this is dowry, why don’t they report it to police”. And then she introduced me to a world unknown. She told me that the boy’s family also gives loads of things ranging from jewelry to cosmetics in return. And in order to start a life, they need stuff :P. Alright, my mind exploded then and there. And I went like “Dowry lete dete hain, phir iska pradarshan karte hain” as if they won a gold medal in olympics and now they are displaying. Yeah buddy, I got a swift, what did you get. Me? Innova. But it appeared crystal clear that both ladki wale as well as the ladke wale were happy about everything, even the dowry and things. It shook all my beliefs for a moment there.

So I have also shared my “no-marriage” views with some people(which includes immediate family members) and the only point they constantly made which I could not cut was security. I was told that once you grow old and have no one for yourself, you’ll realize how important it is to marry. If you meet with some accident or something like that, atleast someone is there to take care. And all I have been thinking  since then is- “Is this security reason worth living your live in dismay?” NO SIR, I would rather go for LIC.